Best worst Movie Review by Dosty Glory

Telling the story of George Hardy, one of the stars of Troll 2, the sequel to nothing, with not a troll in sight (“we called them Goblins”), this is a documentary that probably entertains more than the mo

vie it references.  The film uses Hardy’s participation in the project, filmed twenty years ago when he was working as a new dentist in Utah, as a jumping point to explore the affection that a surprisingly large group of people have for this odd, straight to video, piece of cinematic history.  The viewer is able to go with George as he discovers the depth of the fandom that surrounds this work, from annual viewing parties to film inspired games and a couple who sculpted their own goblin masks. 

            Though the film is interspersed with many clips from the movie, the underlying theme is not so much the wonder that is Troll 2, but instead the unique experience that an audience has with any type of movie, even those of the supposedly worst caliber.  George remarked before the documentary began that he considered this project a love letter to Alabama, since it included many snap shots of his town and the people he is close to.  It would be more accurate, I believe, to call this a love letter to the movies.  Such a letter would be too banal if it centered on some outstanding work that was lauded so often that praise becomes another element of white noise, alienating the general public.  By focusing on this movie, we are able to strip away the pomp and circumstance of cinematic classics and see instead the simple, raw way in which a movie can grip on to people, to speak to something in them that doesn’t need fancy scripts, good acting, or even a rational plot.

            The director of Troll 2, a swarthy Italian who can barely communicate with his former actors (though apparently his language skills are much better now than they were twenty years ago, a fact that is most likely the reasoning behind each bizarrely performed scene), is at times a comic figure, and not comic by his own desire.  He does not see his film as bad in any way.  He honestly believes that what he made is a genuine portrait of the American family, a deep look into the things that threaten togetherness in the modern age.  And, from the perspective of his wife and the film’s writer, the inherent evils of vegetarianism.  As I said, this seriousness puts him in a comical position since even the deepest fans comment on the horrible state of his work.  In the end, however, his foolish stance is vindicated as he explains that the heart of movies is how they reach the heart of the viewer, by whatever method, whatever story, whatever mark of quality the critics put on it.  The fact that the movie garnered so much love, regardless of what the actors may complain about now (these “dogs” as he dubs them), makes it a success, makes it a classic.  This is the signature of the cinematic love letter, the summation of what the movie going experience is – sincerity of expression, if not necessarily tantamount skill.

            Loftiness aside, it was great fun, with a previous familiarity of Troll 2not required.  The only low point that I saw was in the treatment of Margo Prey, the woman who played the mother in the movie, which made me exceedingly uncomfortable.  I’m not sure what the intention of the filmmakers was, but it seemed that Margo’s life after her appearance in the movie was handled with great jest even though it was clear that she was suffering in some way, though we weren’t privy to what exactly her problem was.  This comic level was acceptable in the overly earnest director, but seemed highly disrespectful with her.  This of course could be a flaw in my own sensibilities.  Such complaint aside, Best Worst Movieis without a doubt one to see.

            As for Troll 2…..

            Obviously, after learning so much about the behind the scenes work and the adamant following afterward of this film, it is hard to resist seeing it for yourself.  In my case, I have to admit that I had Nilbog overkill fifteen minutes into the film.  It truly is terrible, accented by the fact that you’ve just watched an explanation of the extremely convoluted plot and seen many clips of the most hilarious parts.  Perhaps if I’d waited a few days to follow up I’d be a serious fan too, though more likely is the fact that “bad films” just aren’t my thing.

            Two things that can’t go unaddressed when you’re talking about Troll 2: homoeroticism and vegetarianism.  The men are always shirtless, sleeping close together in small spaces, and one boy won’t be accepted by his girlfriend’s family because he “spends too much time with his boys.”  In fact, the only women in this film, aside from the queen of the goblin people and a few zombie-faced goblins, are the mother and the daughter, one of whom we barely see and the other who is flat chested and lifts weights in her bedroom.  The most poignant bit of homoeroticism comes in a seduction scene where the goblin queen “pops corn” with one of the human boys, letting their sexual heat explode the kernels as the two gnaw on an obscenely phallic ear of corn.

            The evils of vegetarians are what drive the entire plot.  These evil creatures don’t believe in the consumption of flesh, unless that flesh has been transformed into a chlorophyll-spewing carcass after consuming foaming broth or eating green sandwiches (sorry, should that have been spoiler alerted?).  There’s not much to say about that angle aside from now we finally know how to defeat these leaf eaters.

            Thanks for that backpack, Grandpa Seth, we owe you one.

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"Trust your own instinct.  Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's."  -- Billy Wilder

--Dosty Glory