Ms. Scarlett's Matters of The Heart

Ms. Scarlett - My boyfriend is moving to up north to go to grad school but I Am staying in Tuscaloosa because I am in grad school here. We have only been dating a few months but I am really going to miss him. Should we keep dating or should I move on?

-You, of course, already know the answer to this question. Asking for my well-informed opinion is commendable, but it's likely that you've already made up your mind. Long distance relationships are a bitch. You're giving up so many things that a relationship of close proximity enjoys (most notably sex & companionship). Giving up these relationship perks leaves you clinging to the phone (and possibly using it in ways other than Alexander intended). If it is a love that you truly believe can stand the test of time (& distance) then by all means continue on. However, don't complain about your cold and lonely nights to anyone. It will only lead to trouble.

Ms. Scarlett,

My girlfriend and I are moving in together. Neither of us has ever lived with a significant other. I am afraid our house will look to womanly and out of a catalogue. She is afraid that I will not want to grow up and live like an "adult". We both want a cool house but we are finding out that we have different ideas of what cool is. How can we compromise and make this work?

-Like any good relationship, romantic or otherwise, compromise is key. It's possible that your tastes are a bit juvenile, and perhaps she is a label queen. Meeting in the middle will require patience on both your parts. Instill in her the joys of thrifting (ie. vintage furniture, unique items such as Dolly Parton ashtrays & 70s/80s items of orange and brown) and treasured items like the bricks you've saved from your favorite demolished watering hole. Yet be open to her suggestions of newer items like sheets or curtains that are worth cleaning, washing, dusting, and vacuuming. And don't be afraid of her organized coffee table. It is an extension of her creativity. Remember, not everything is worth clinging to! This applies to you both. If there is not enough room in the house for each of your things and your relationship, reconsider the move. God speed & write back for feng shui tips.

_{If you have a "Matter of  the Heart" e-mail Ms. Scarlett at wellthatscool AT gmail DOT com}